The Kidnapping
by Uherenye
Summary: Rated PG-13 only to be safe What happens when Merry and Pippin are kidnapped and take to a different world? Takes place right after the downfall of Isengard. ON PERMANENT HIATUS
1. Chapters 1 through 9

The Kidnapping

Chapter 1: Captured Again

"Oh," groaned Merry. "Where am I?"

"Quiet!" growled a harsh voice.

Merry struggled to remember what had just happened. He had fallen asleep next to Pippin as usual. Then he had woken up with a grimy hand over his mouth. But what had happened after that? It was all a blur. And what was happening now? Merry looked around. Right in front of him was a smelly orc neck. "Pippin, I thought we escaped!" he yelled out. A whip slapped across his back.

"Ugrun told you to be quiet!" said and orc with a whip. "And you'll be quiet if you don't want to feel this again." He flourished the whip.

Merry shut his mouth and decided to try to find Pippin. There he was, hanging from another orc's neck. "Pippin!" Merry whispered as quietly as possible.

"Wha?" Pippin asked, still disoriented.

Merry motioned for Pippin to be quiet. "We're caught again."

"How?"

"I don't know."

"But Isengard had fallen, Merry. And these orcs don't have the white hand of Saruman or the Eye of Mordor."

"I don't know where thei..." Merry stopped as the whip orc came by.

"Excuse me, but where are we going?" asked Pippin before Merry could stop him.

"You'd do well to keep your mouth shut," replied the orc. "But as for your question, we are going to see the Chief in the Capitol."

A few moments later, Merry's head was thrust back and a liquid poured down his throat. He knew no more.

Chapter 2: The Man

"Ow! Watch it, Gimli!" said Pippin. Gimli had been carrying him piggyback and had put him down a little too hard.

"Gimli? Who is this Gimli that you speak of?" asked a cold voice.

Pippin looked up. A tall, grim man sat in a chair looking down at him. He was suddenly reminded of his position. He got up and tried to run away.

"Guards!" called the man. Two other men stepped out from the shadows and grabbed Pippin. "Tie his legs, and secure his arms behind his back." The guards did so, and none too kindly. "Name and birthplace," said the man. It was not a question. It was a command.

"Peregrin Took of the Shire," replied Pippin.

"And your friend's name?"

"Meriadoc Brandybuck of Buckland."

"I have not heard of such names."

"Well, Pippin and Merry for short. See, my name comes from my mother's second cous…"

"Enough! I care little for the history of the Shirefolk's names. Rhun, take Master Peregrin to that corner over there. Unun, secure Master Meriadoc and take him to the corner over there. Oh, and one of you call for Ugrun and Uglesh."

Pippin was dragged to a corner. A few moments later the two orcs who had kidnapped him and Merry strode in.  
"I hope these two halflings please you, my lord." said Uglesh.  
"Where did you find them?" asked the man.  
"Four leagues east of Isengard. They were with an elf, a dwarf, a score of the Rohirrim, and one of the Dunedain of the North. Oh, also a wizard known as Gandalf."  
"Yes, yes. That is all very well. Were you spotted?"  
"No."  
"Sir, would you be so kind as to tell me when breakfast is?" interrupted Pippin.  
"Don't worry, you'll get your breakfast." said the man. "Take them away." He waved a hand at the guards. "Now, as for the matter of other races, do you think you could go back to that group and get the elf, dwarf, and Dunedain?"  
Pippin didn't hear the reply. He was pulled along a hallway to a huge room. It was filled with big empty cages. The guard holding him unlocked one of the cages and threw him in. The same was done to Merry in the cage to the left, and the guards turned to leave.  
"But what about breakfast?" inquired Pippin.

"Almost forgot." Said one of the guards. He shoved dishes through small doors on the sides of the cages.  
Pippin looked down. "But this is dog food! We can't eat it! We're hobbits! Halflings! Little People! We eat normal food!"  
"You asked for breakfast, and there it is." said the guard. He left.

Chapter 3: "They're Gone!"

Legolas opened his eyes. He stood up and faced the rising sun. "It's so horrible," thought Legolas, "that the day should have to start behind Mordor."  
He turned. Merry and Pippin were not there! "Aragorn!" he cried. Aragorn, wake up! The hobbits aren't here!"  
Aragorn was instantly alert. "Your Elven eyes see far, Legolas. What does the dawn light show?"  
"Naught but five lone orcs. They are heading east and bear no burdens." replied the elf.  
The two woke Gimli and told him the tale.  
"This is bad news indeed!" said the dwarf when they had finished. "We should ask the Rohirrim to help us search. And Gandalf will most certainly help too."  
So it was that the entire company spent the day searching for Merry and Pippin. At last as the sun set in the west King Theoden called for a council.  
"We have now spent a day looking for these holbytla. All now appears hopeless. Time grows short. We must depart tomorrow ere the rising of the sun."  
"But we can't just leave them for dead!" shouted Legolas. "We must find some way to pursue whatever enemy has taken them!"  
"I would side with you, Legolas," said Gandalf, "were it not that we may already be too late to get to Minas Tirith. The young hobbits are our friends, but if we should rescue them and fail to help others, what then? We would all go down, and become slaves. No, we must go to the aid of Gondor."  
Legolas could not argue with Gandalf.  
"Now I suggest we all rest." said Aragorn. Legolas looked at his face and could tell he was sad too. "Yes." he agreed.

"Merry," said Pippin. "Did you here what they were saying before we got taken away?"  
"No. I was just coming to."  
"They're going to try and kidnap Strider, and Legolas and Gimli too."  
"I wonder if they know we're gone yet." pondered Merry.  
"Don't worry. Strider will track us down just like last time."  
"Last time he didn't find us, Pip. Treebeard did."  
"But he almost did."  
"Almost isn't enough."  
Pippin couldn't think of anything to prove Merry wrong. "No, almost isn't enough." he sighed.

"Finally, I thought that elf would never fall asleep." said Uglesh. He, Ugrun, and three other orcs had been hiding behind a bush during the search for Merry and Pippin. "Ugrun, get out the spiders."  
Ugrun pulled out a small bag with three spiders in it. The spiders, offspring of Shelob of Mordor, had a powerful poison that would knock out even an elf.  
"You know what to do." growled Uglesh, nodding his head at the sleeping Dunedan, elf, and dwarf. "Go do it."

Chapter 4: Reunited Once Again

"Anírathach i agorech i nad hen!"  
"Legolas?" thought Merry. He looked up. What he saw was almost funny. There was Legolas, slipping into his own tongue in his rage, surrounded by eight Uruk-hai who were desperately trying to push him towards a cage. And there were Aragorn and Gimli, thrown over two other orcs' shoulders, their faces peaceful as if sleeping.  
Merry stared as the orcs seemed to gain more control over the elf. He was unable to say or do anything. Suddenly Legolas cried out and seemed to fall asleep, his face like Gimli's and Aragorn's.  
The Uruks immediately threw him in a cage two away from Merry. Aragorn was put in the cage between Merry and Legolas, and Gimli was locked in the one next to Legolas.  
"Pippin!" shouted Merry, recovering from his shock. "The orcs have caught Gimli, Legolas, and Strider!"  
Pippin sat up. He had been lying in a daze, hungrier than he had ever been before. I must have fallen asleep. "Why are they sleeping?" he wondered aloud.  
"I don't know," replied Merry. "But it seems that the orcs have given them some kind of poison to knock them out. It obviously doesn't work too well on Elves. Legolas was awake when they brought him in, and I think they had to give him more."  
"Yes, they did," said Legolas. "And no, it doesn't work very well on me." He was surprised when the hobbits didn't seem startled by his sudden speech.  
"What did you say to them?" asked Merry, referring to what Legolas had yelled at the orcs.  
"I told them they would regret capturing us," replied the elf.  
"Well, it will be quite a surprise to them when they do," joked Pippin, "since I highly doubt they know Elvish." Just then his stomach growled.  
"Here, I've got some lembas," said Legolas, looking at Pippin with concern and reaching back to pull off his pack. He had never seen the hobbit hungry enough for his stomach to be growling. "Wait, I don't have any. They've taken my pack."  
Pippin sank down. "How am I supposed to survive with not even one meal a day?"  
"Hold on, Pip," said Merry. "I think I've still got a bit in my pocket." Merry stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a single wafer of lembas. "Well, it's not much, but if each of us only has one small bite a day, it should last a while."

An hour or two later Aragorn and Gimli came to. The first thing Aragorn did was to check out what was missing. Like everyone else, his pack had been taken. "Anduril!" he cried. "They've taken the Flame of the West!" his face drained. "Do we know yet who these orcs serve?"  
"They do not bear the Eye of Mordor, nor the Hand of Saruman," said Legolas. "And I have seen no other device on mail, shield, or helm."  
"I pray that they do not serve yet another puppet of Sauron," said Aragorn, "for that would be disastrous.

In the evening of that day the man, who was known by all that had heard of him as "Grim," called for Uglesh and Ugrun.  
"So you have successfully caught the elf, dwarf, and man?"  
"Yes, my lord," replied Ugrun.  
"Bring them all to me at noon tomorrow. It is time for me to decide."

Chapter 5: The Meaning of it All

Late the next morning, as Merry was passing out small pieces of lembas, Legolas heard orc voices coming.  
"Quickly! Hide your lembas in your pockets! I hear orcs."  
Everyone except Pippin, who shoved his lembas in his mouth, did so.  
"I think they're going to take us somewhere. This time we should let them. We have to find out what's going on." advised Legolas.  
The orcs came in. "We're going for a walk." said Uglesh.  
The Dunedan, elf, dwarf, and hobbits allowed their arms to be tied behind their backs and were led down a long hallway into the room where Merry and Pippin had met Grim. Ugrun went a few steps ahead of the rest. "My lord."  
"Ah yes, right on time." said Grim. "In a line, now!"  
The company was lined up facing Grim. Aragorn was farthest to the strange man's left, Pippin the farthest to the right.  
Grim stood and walked over to face Aragorn. "Rhun, take notes of all I say." The guard pulled out a large piece of parchment and a quill pen. "Dunedan. And you're supposed to be heir to the throne. Didn't take much to capture you. If you ever become king, you'd better watch out for your subjects." said Grim in a scornful way.  
"Do not insult a man of Numenorean blood. He and his kin would destroy you in battle." said Legolas.  
"Duck tape!" called Grim.  
Legolas watched as Unun pulled out a small, strange, wheel-shaped bundle of grey stuff. The guard found an end of the grey stuff and began unrolling it. When he had a good-sized piece he ripped it from the rest of the roll. The guard moved towards Legolas.  
The elf tried to back away but an orc restrained him. "I say it again, orchvellon.orc friend" he said. "Anirathach i agorech i n…" The rest of his words were lost as the grey stuff was put over his mouth. It was sticky. He couldn't move his lips.  
"You will speak when I want you to." said Grim. "And tell me not of regret, for it is you who will soon be doing the regretting."  
Legolas was shocked. How could this orchvellon know his language? And how could he dare to insult Aragorn, his future king? For although Aragorn had not claimed the throne yet, Legolas was confident that he would. And by now he had figured out that they must be somewhere deep in Mordor, or beyond. If they could win the war, Aragorn would see that no unredeemable beings were left. Insulting the Ranger would not give this man better chances. Legolas turned his attention to the present matter.  
"Too strong," Grim was saying, "and too proud. The only thing he'd be good for would be heavy work. No, I do not think I'll use Dunedain, or any men for that matter." The man walked over to consider Gimli.  
The dwarf frowned at him. "There is no curse in the language of the dwarves, nor, I would guess, in any other language for one such as you."  
"Thank you." said the man. "Nice and strong." he noted. "Although he might be a bit too short."  
Gimli's eyes flashed with anger and hatred. He wished he had his axe and could swing it at the rude man's neck.  
Grim raised his eyebrows and moved on. He skipped Legolas for the moment and went to Merry and Pippin. It made him laugh inside to see the defiance in the hobbits' faces. "Again, a little too short." he said. "But they are hard workers when made to work, I have heard." And to himself he mumbled, "Plus it would be wonderful to put their spirits down."  
Legolas with his elf ears heard him say this and began to put two and two together. Grim wanted strength (but not too much), the ability to work, and the right height. He was looking at each main race of Middle Earth. He didn't want people who were too proud, and he was going to do something that would make the hobbits feel sad. Slaves. The man was trying to figure out which race would make the best slaves.  
The elf's thoughts were broken when Grim walked up to him. Legolas glared at him.  
"Much too proud. And too smart and strong. Plus you'd never get any work done because you'd spend all your time doing your hair." said Grim disdainfully.  
That was too much for Gimli. First Grim had insulted Aragorn all together, then Gimli's own height, and the hobbits', and now he was insulting Legolas.  
He made his move. Since it was sudden and unexpected, Gimli was able to break away from the orc holding him. He lunged forward and, because he couldn't use his hands, head-butted the man in the stomach. Hard, as hard as he could.  
The orc behind him pulled out a sword. It tried to swipe at Gimli's back but succeeded only in cutting the dwarf's bonds.  
"Thank you." said Gimli.  
Unun ran up and pushed Gimli to the ground. He whipped out a sword and held it to Gimli's neck. "No one moves or I slit his throat!"  
Legolas wished he could use the line he'd used with Eomer, "You would die before your stroke fell," but he had no bow.  
"Get them back to the cage room, now!" said Grim, recovering from Gimli's attack. "You will all pay for this. Oh, shall I translate that to Elvish for dear Master Legolas? Wouldn't want you messing up your hair in worry." He smirked.  
"The Common Speech is fine." said Legolas, who had managed to get the tape off his mouth, tensely. "Orchvellon, you will be sorry. For now you face the wrath of all good races."  
The company was led back to their cages.

Chapter 6: Legolas's Plan

"The nerve of that man…Aragorn, Legolas, the hobbits, and me…All of us…" Gimli was saying as he paced back and forth in his cage, which was only wide enough for him to take two or three steps.

Pippin sat as if hypnotized watching him. Merry was sleeping. Legolas was staring into space, deep in thought. Aragorn watched them all and said nothing.

He was still very worried about Anduril. Where had they put it? How would the company get back to Gandalf and the Rohirrim? He and Anduril would be needed. The one night we didn't set a watch…

Legolas jumped up. Gimli stopped muttering and Pippin looked over at the elf, as did Aragorn. Pippin quickly woke Merry.

"What is it, mellon nin?" asked Aragorn.

"I've got a plan."

"Remember, don't do anything. Let me take care of this," said Legolas.

About ten minutes later an orc came in with dishes of fresh dog food. Starting with Pippin, he went down the line of cages shoving dishes through the small side doors.

Legolas gripped the tiny bow that he'd made using Pippin's pipe and a strand of his own hair as he watched the orc finish with Pippin, move on to Merry, walk to Aragorn…And then it was his turn. As the orc opened the side door Legolas whipped out the bow and a small stick that he had found and shot the orc in the hand. The orc howled in pain and tried to punch the elf. Legolas's head snapped back and he crumpled to the ground.

Four orcs rushed in to see what the commotion was about. The injured orc told them what had happened.

"This fellow ain't gonna be happy when he wakes up," said one orc happily. "Get him out o' that cage. He's going to Grim."

Another orc produced a set of keys and unlocked Legolas's cage. The other 3 pulled the elf out and stood him up. They brought his hands together to tie them.

Legolas, who had in fact been completely conscious the whole time, punched upward with both of his hands and knocked out an orc. He caught the others by surprise and was able to get another one before they reacted.

The remaining two orcs pulled out their swords and jeered at the elf, who appeared to be defenseless against them.

Legolas pulled the swords from the sheathes of the two unconscious orcs. He walked up to the others and swept outwards with the orc swords, severing the necks of both of his enemies.

"All right Legolas!" shouted Merry and Pippin together.

"Quickly! I will unlock your cages and we must get out of here. Someone will have heard that," said Legolas, already freeing Gimli.

When everyone was out they left the room using the only door.

"Left or right?" whispered Legolas, who was in front.

"That depends. Do we want to go to Grim?" asked Merry.

"I'd say for the time being no," put in Aragorn.

"Left then," said Merry.

After passing a few doors they came upon what seemed to be a large storage room.

"In here!" said Legolas.

Aragorn shut and locked the door behind them, using a strange little button on the knob. It was pitch black.

"What are we going to do now?" wondered Pippin out loud.

"First off, we must get our weapons back," stated Aragorn.

"Yes, I want my axe!" said Gimli.

Chapter 7: Spying

"The way I see it," Gimli explained, "we don't know where our weapons are, but Grim does. And we know where Grim is."

"Meaning what?" asked Merry, confused.

"I say we spy on him. Now that we've escaped, he'll be sure to guard the weapons carefully. We have to be there when he gives the order to do so. Then we follow the order-bearer to the weapons."

"That is perfect, mellon nin!" said Legolas.

"Just one thing," said Aragorn. "What do we do after we fight our way out? We only have a little lembas, and who knows how long it will be until we can get some more to eat?"

"Our packs may be with our weapons, and I have much lembas in mine," put in Legolas.

"I guess that's all we can do anyway," sighed Aragorn.

"What are we waiting for?" questioned Pippin.

They crept out of the room and went back down the hallway.

"Merry," whispered Legolas when they got close, "come with me. The rest of you stay here until we come-then follow us."

He and Merry cautiously approached the open doors to Grim's hall. He motioned for the hobbit to go behind the left door, and he went behind the right one.

"For Ghun," they heard Grim say.

"Yes sir!" came the voice of Rhun.

Five minutes later a man came up the hallway and entered the room.

"I am sorry to hear the news," said the man, who must have been Ghun. "What do you request?"

"Send word to the guards of the weapons room to be alert. Tell them to also set the extra security," ordered Grim.

"Right away, sir," said Ghun, already turning around.

Legolas gave him a ten foot head start and then, whispering "Come on Merry! Be very quiet," he followed.

Aragorn, Gimli, and Pippin joined them as soon as they were in sight.

"Be on the watch for guards," muttered Aragorn.

They passed several plain, unguarded doors, and then a room with its doors open. Legolas peered in but it was completely empty and had no windows. Ghun still walked ahead of them, unsuspecting.

Finally they saw a door, plain but guarded by 10 orcs. They stopped and Ghun gave the orders, was saluted to, and continued walking.

"They have weapons. We don't. But we do have the element of surprise. On the count of three we run over and attack," instructed Legolas.

Everyone nodded except Pippin. "Umm…what do we attack with?" he asked.

"Anything!" said Gimli. "Just stay away from their swords."

"One…two…three!" They rushed at the orcs. Legolas and Aragorn each took out two with their fists. Merry and Pippin tackled one from behind and knocked its head against the wall. Gimli head butted one in the stomach and kicked another. Merry and Pippin split up and managed to get two orcs to knock heads. The last one ran away. Merry and Pippin cheered.

"Do not cheer," advised Legolas. "We should not have let him escape. He will br…"

Just then they heard a loud crash and the door to the room broke in two.

"I guess this is the extra security," gulped Legolas.

"As Boromir would say: They have a cave troll!" said Pippin shakily. The troll roared and swung its club, just missing Gimli.

"We could use another idea now, Legolas!" said Gimli.

"Your turn!" yelled Legolas, rolling out of the way of the club.

"Legolas, get your bow! We'll distract the troll," suggested Aragorn.

The elf sprang up. Merry threw a small piece of the door at the troll's head, making it look the other way. Legolas ran past it into the room beyond. Seeing his bow and quiver on a table in the center he ran over and grabbed them. He ran out.

"It's a good thing you're here!" came Pippin's voice from somewhere up high. "I could use some help!"

Legolas looked up to see the hobbit dangling in the air by his leg in the troll's hand. "Pippin, bite it!"

"Why?" asked Pippin in his usual way.

"Just do it!"

Pippin grabbed the troll's hand and pulled his head up high enough to bite it. The troll screamed in annoyance.

Legolas quickly shot an arrow into the roof of its mouth, one of the few places not covered in thick skin. The arrow pierced the troll's brain, killing it instantly. It started to fall.

"Help!" yelled Pippin.

Aragorn, Gimli, Merry, and Legolas stared but couldn't do anything. The troll kept falling. Finally it landed with a loud thud. Merry ran over to where Pippin was laying.

"Are you okay, Pip?"

"I…I think."

"You were lucky," said Aragorn, walking over. "It could have landed on top of you."

"Come on! Between that orc who got away and this guy falling this hall will be swarming with orcs in no time. Let's get the rest of the weapons," said Legolas.

Merry pulled Pippin to his feet, but the young hobbit fell down again with a cry of pain.

"Pippin, what's wrong?" asked Legolas.

"My leg…I think I broke it."

All of a sudden Legolas heard orc voices coming closer. "Aragorn, take Pippin! Orcs are coming!"

Aragorn scooped up Pippin and ran after Legolas into the weapons room. Merry and Gimli followed.

Chapter 8: The Weapons Room

"Merry, watch the door. If any orcs come into sight, yell," said Gimli.

Aragorn set Pippin on the floor near Merry and went to the table where Legolas was rummaging around for the weapons.

"Gimli, your axe!" said the elf, pulling the axe out of the pile.

Gimli grabbed it quickly and took a swing at the air. "That felt good."

Aragorn pulled sword after sword out of the pile. Where is Anduril? Finally he found a hilt he knew, but it was not Anduril's. "Pippin, I've got your knife. I'll hold it for now."

"Good," said Pippin.

Next Aragorn found Legolas's white knife, which he handed to the elf.

Then several things happened at once. Merry stepped backwards onto Pippin's broken leg. Pippin yelled out. Answering yells came from a bit down the hall. They were the yells of orcs. Legolas found Merry's knife but dropped it on the floor when he heard the orcs, quickly getting he bow into position and nocking and arrow.

"How many are there?" Aragorn yelled.

"A lot more than us," said Merry in a calm, two-hobbits-talking-over-dinner manner. "I would say 2 score at the very least. It's going to be a tough fight for us, even with this fine Elven warrior here."

"Legolas, we cannot fight! Our numbers are too small, and Pippin is not fit to fight. We must flee," advised Aragorn.

Reluctantly Legolas put his arrow back. Merry ran over to where Legolas had dropped his knife and picked it up, and Aragorn quickly picked up Pippin. His eyes swept around the room in one last desperate attempt to find Anduril. He was lucky he did so, because there it was in the rubble of the door, still under the steel bars that had held it there. Because the door was broken, he easily got the sword out.

Quickly the group ran out of the weapons room, just in time to be met almost head-on by the orcs. They had to run the opposite way-towards Grim.

"Duck into the next room!" Aragorn hissed into Legolas's ear. Maybe they could lose the orcs that way.

After Gimli shut the door quickly but quietly behind them, they surveyed the room. It didn't have much-only some strange, tall metal things against one wall, a weird table in one corner, and what looked like some sort of chair, but of a strange shape and made of the hide of some slightly textured black-skinned animal. On the table was a grey box with a dark glass square on one side that made a humming noise.

Aragorn went behind the table and gently set Pippin down on the chair. It was then that he noticed another part of the table. On this there was a tray, the same color as the box, with a bunch of little cubes on it. The cubes had different numbers, letters, and symbols written on them with some sort of dark grey ink. There was also a sort of lump with a string coming out of it next to the tray.

"What in Eru's name is this?" he muttered, reaching out to touch the box. The glass part felt normal, but he could not figure out what the rest was made of.

Merry, Gimli, and Legolas came over to see what was going on. "What are y-" began Merry, but then all four of them jumped back when Aragorn pushed one of the cubes on the tray and the box made a noise none of them had ever heard before. The glass part turned a light blue and then a picture of Grim appeared on it, and some other shapes with words on them. The picture looked much too life-like.

"Uhh…guys? This room is light," said Merry.

"And?" questioned Pippin. It was true that this room had more light than any of the others they'd been in, but he could not see why his friend was so frightened.

"There aren't any windows." Everyone looked around, noticing this for the first time. There were no torches on the walls, no candles on the table, and yet the room was as bright as if daylight had been streaming in. Daring a peek at the ceiling they saw a series of clearish rectangles that seemed to have sunlight trapped within them. Legolas thought of the stories he had heard about the silmarils, but those had always been described as beautiful. These were not.

"Maybe we…shouldn't stay here," Gimli said after a silence.

Without saying a word they moved towards the door, Legolas taking Pippin this time, and after Aragorn quickly glanced both ways they filed out and began walking the way they had come.

After awhile they turned a corner and finally saw what they had been looking for: two big doors with intricate carvings of what appeared to be vines all along the edges. And they were not guarded. Clearly Grim and his servants had not expected them to make it this far.

Aragorn thrust open the doors and they were all blinded for a moment as sunlight pierced the dim interior of Grim's Hall.

Chapter 9: "Where in Middle Earth Are We?"

When the company's eyes had adjusted to the light they were stunned into silence by what they saw.  
Below them, for they were on top of a large hill, were many huge, black glittering towers with little decoration and flat roofs. Moving among these were things hard to describe. They moved on wheels and were a bit like covered wains, but the wheels were black and silver and seemed to move on their own. The "wains" were all different colors-blue, black, white, yellow, red, green and silver. The roads were paved with a single black stone, though in places parts seemed to have been dyed yellow or white. People-men and women and children-were walking on either side of the road on a grey stone wide enough for only 1 or 2 to walk abreast.

Merry and Pippin stared wide-eyed and open-mouthed, for even if the city had not been so strange, it was the first city of Men they had seen. "Where in Middle Earth are we?" they asked. No one could answer.

"It's no good staying here," said Aragorn. "If we don't get moving the orcs will find us."

"But where do we go?" asked Gimli.

"To the city," advised Legolas.

"Are you out of your mind?" shouted Gimli. "The first person who sees us will bring us right back!"

"You forget that I can see farther than you," answered the elf. "These Men do not look evil to my eyes. Perhaps there may be a few among them, but for the most part they are good."

Legolas's word was all they needed. They began walking down the slope, Pippin still held by Legolas. When they reached the city they were met by confused stares form strangely dressed people.

"Yo dudes, totally awesome Lord of the Rings costumes! I thought you were really Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Merry, and Pippin there for a second!" one man yelled.

Aragorn's first thought was to talk to this man. They needed to find something to support Pippin's broken leg.

Apparently Legolas was thinking the same thing, because he walked right up to the man and said, "Excuse me, sir, but do you know where we could find a healer? This good Halfling broke his leg as we fought a troll."

"Sweet, you even have the voices down perfectly dude! You should totally be like an actor or something! But anyway the hospital's just like 5 blocks that way."

"Hannon le," said Legolas, not forgetting his manners, as he started hurrying in the direction the man had pointed. Everyone else followed.

"Yeah hanan lee to you dudes too! Go make a really cool movie or whatever!" called the man.

What a freak. Legolas kept going, weaving among the many staring people. Soon he started to notice that many of the young girls he passed were whispering excitedly. He tuned in to see what it was about.

"Orlando Bloom! It's Orlando Bloom! Can you believe it? Orlando Bloom!" What a weird name. I wonder who he is?

"Legolas. Legolas? Why have you stopped?" Aragorn broke in on his thoughts.

"Oh. It's nothing." Legolas started moving again and tried to ignore the fact that the whispering girls seemed now to be forming a throng behind the company. Just keep walking. Just get to the healer. They'll keep walking when we go in.

"Orli! Hi, I'm your biggest fan ever! I know everything about you! Even though you keep your personal life private! But don't worry, I'm not a stalker. Hey, wait up! Why are you in costume? Can I have your autograph?" screamed a voice next to him.

"Aragorn, I'm going to make a run for it. These people are insane, they keep calling me these weird names like Orlando and Orli," muttered Legolas.

"Why are you calling Viggo Aragorn, Orli? You're not being filmed are you? Am I an extra? Don't you have to try out or something to be an extra? Why are you saying your name is weird? I think it's cool!" came the answer. It was not from Aragorn.

Legolas stopped and looked over his shoulder. He and Pippin were cut off from the rest of the group by a huge crowd of yelling girls, children of Men, who looked to be between the ages of 12 and 30. Very young, Legolas thought.

"Legolas, why are they all screaming and staring at us?" asked Pippin, eyes wide with fear.

"Oh my gosh, I love your accent Billy!" shouted a girl from the crowd.

"Pippin, I'm going to put you down," whispered Legolas so quietly that the girl tugging at his arm couldn't hear him. "Stay still, or you'll hurt you leg worse."

Before the little fangirl knew what was happening, Billy Boyd was on the ground next to her and Orlando Bloom had whipped out his Legolas bow and fitted an arrow.

Legolas jumped around to face Aragorn, Merry, and Gimli. "Move away and let them through and I won't have to use this." Some of the girls giggled, as if they thought he was joking, but many of them backed away, making a path.

When Aragorn reached him, Legolas quickly explained the plan he had to get them safely to the healer. The Dunadan scooped up Pippin and Legolas put his arrow back and attached his bow to his quiver.

"Everyone, please back away and no one gets hurt," he said, bringing out his white knives and using his most deadly serious tone. This time there was no laughter and all the girls hurried to get out of the way. Legolas, Merry, Gimli, and Aragorn with Pippin went on their way to the healer.


	2. Chapter 10

The Healer

Dr. Dan Smith sat in a lounge enjoying a cup of coffee and watching his favorite TV show, Lost. It was a rerun, but that was okay. He only worked in the emergency room and so far it had been an easy day – he hadn't needed to do anything.  
"Dear diary: Still stuck on the bloody island. I swallowed a bug today," came the voice of Charlie, one of the main characters. Just then Dr. Smith's beeper went off. That meant he was needed in the emergency room. He groaned and got up.

"Now just wait here and Dr. Smith will be right with you," said the woman, who had led them in through a series of halls, as she left the small room they were in.  
"Wait, lady," said Aragorn, "what is your name?"  
"I'm Nurse Sarah," said the woman.  
"Hannon le," Aragorn and Legolas said together.  
"All right, you too," Nurse Sarah cooed. "Now what are your names again?"  
"I'm Aragorn, and this is Legolas of Mirkwood, over there are Peregrin Took and Meriadoc Brandybuck of the Shire, and this fine dwarf is Gimli of the Lonely Mountain."  
"It's so nice to see actors so interested in their work!" beamed Nurse Sarah. Of course, she knew who they really were.

"What's going on?" asked Dr. Smith when Nurse Sarah came into the office.  
"This is bad," the woman replied. "I've got Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, and John Rhys Davies in room three. They came because Billy's leg is broken."  
"Just a broken leg? That's not so bad."  
That's not the bad part. They're in costume and they think that they are really the characters they play in Lord of the Rings. And I know you're going to say they're probably drunk, but I can assure you they are perfectly sober. I think something must have clicked and they've gone slightly mental."  
"This is bad! Sarah, go call the police. I'll try to keep them busy." He walked off towards room three and Nurse Sarah picked up the phone and dialed.  
As soon as she told the officer the situation he informed her that some girls had already called in about the celebrities threatening them with their movie weapons in order to shake the crowd off. After hearing that the police would arrive within a few minutes, she sat down and waited.

"Aragorn, what's this?" asked Pippin, holding up a small, fluffy ball that he had found in a container next to the hard bed that Nurse Sarah had told him to sit on.  
"I don't know," replied the Ranger wearily, shifting in the chair he was sitting on, which was made of a material he hadn't seen before.  
Pippin put the ball down and picked up a black stick with silver at its tip. "Do you know what _this_ is?"  
"No, Pippin."  
"This?" Now it was a strip of black fabric attached to the wall by some sort of cord.  
"For the last time, Pippin, I don't know what any of this is!"  
"Sorry."  
Pippin's apology was followed by the sound of the door opening.

"Okay, Mr. Boyd, I'm ready to fix you up. Do you want a colored cast or a plain one?" asked Dr. Smith. He had just taken an x-ray of the actor's leg. The man's only response to the doctor's question was to look almost wildly around the room. Dr. Smith sighed. I'd better get paid extra for this… "Master Peregrin, which of these colors do you like best?" he ventured to say.  
Pippin kicked his unbroken leg against the metal bed. "That one." He was pointing to the pink one.  
Aragorn stepped in between the hobbit and the doctor. "How about green, Pippin? You like green, don't you?"  
"Sure," said Pippin, shrugging. Aragorn moved out of the way.

Not too much later, Pippin's injured leg was wrapped in the green material. He was now sitting in a weird chair with four black and silver wheels on it – two large, two small. Dr. Smith called it a wheelchair. It made sense, Pippin thought. Chair with wheels. Wheelchair. He had also been offered two things called _crutches_, but no one in the company could figure out how to wield them.   
Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Dr. Smith opened it as fast as if his life depended on it. Gimli peered out to have his gaze met by 7 soldiers, all in black uniforms with much adornment but none with mail, shield, or helm. Short weapons with black hilts protruding at a right angle from unseen blades were sheathed at their sides.  
"Are they so confident in their abilities that they feel no need for protection?" whispered Legolas to no one in particular.  
"Perhaps they are like our Shirrifs," suggested Merry, barely able to be heard.  
"Shirrifs?" questioned Legolas.  
"Yes, Shirrifs. We have a few, though the position is more symbolic than necessary. They mostly watch the borders."  
"Billy Boyd, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys Davies, Viggo Mortensen, and Dominic Monaghan, you are under arrest." said one of the Shirrif-soldiers, cutting off the whispered conversation.  
"Sirs, who is this Orlando? And this Billy, who is he? Everywhere we got we seem to hear about them!" piped up Merry.  
"Apparently you didn't hear the extent of this situation, officers," said Dr. Smith out of the corner of his mouth. "They only answer to their movie names."  
The Shirrif-soldier who had spoken displayed a look of annoyance at this, then announced, "Pippin, Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn, and Merry, you are going to go on a little ride with us."  
Aragorn's eyes shifted uneasily to look at his companions. The look said, "Do we go with them?"  
Merry and Pippin shrugged, and Gimli's face was blank. Legolas, however had his bow out and strung, and an arrow fitted, before anyone knew he had moved.  
"We are lost travelers, merely trying to find our way. Unless it is to our own lands that you shall take us, we shall not follow you," he said, and then added as an afterthought: "Only fools follow those they do not know."  
"And where are you going?" asked the head Shirrif-soldier skeptically.  
"If you must know, we were headed for Minas Tirith. Those who claim to oppose the Enemy would do well not to hinder us," said Gimli.  
All seven Shirrif-soldiers bursted out laughing. "The Enemy!" one howled. "Minas Tirith!" yelled another. The leader was the first to become sober again. "All of you will disarm, or we will do it for you," he said.  
I am not losing Anduril again! thought Aragorn angrily. Outwardly he tried to stay composed. His gaze carefully shifted towards Legolas, whose eyes the Ranger could most easily meet.  
The elf's eyes were flicking quickly between the Shirrif-soldier he was targeting and Aragorn. Half of his being was buzzing insistently that he should not trust these people, should get himself and his companions away, but another part of him was ready to break down and do whatever he was told. It wasn't that he liked the idea of being led to an unknown place, but…everything in this place was so confusing, nothing made sense and nothing was familiar. Legolas had only felt this helpless and lost a handful of times in his life.  
Aragorn could see that Legolas, who usually kept his features impassive in tough situations, was in no state to make a decision – though what was straining the wood elf so much was unclear. They were stuck between a rock and a hard place, that was for sure, but still…Aragorn knew for a fact that his friend had been in much worse circumstances.  
Apparently they were taking too long, because one of the Shirrif-soldiers unsheathed his short black – what was it? Merry had never seen anything like the weapon that was now aimed at Legolas's right hand where it gripped his bow. It must be a range weapon, Merry concluded, because the Shirrif-soldier had not moved closer to his target. There was no blade to the weapon and the body of it extended seamlessly at a right angle from the hilt. It was not very long at all and on its flat end there was a round hole.  
"Michaels said disarm, did you not hear him?" said the Shirrif-soldier who had his weapon drawn. It seemed that "Michaels" was the leader's name.  
Aragorn uncertainly took his hand of Anduril's hilt, but he did not put the ancient sword down as the Shirrif-soldiers wished. Gimli and Merry did likewise, having no ideas of their own, and Pippin's blade was still in the safekeeping of the Dunedan. As for Legolas, he was still too flummoxed by the recent events to do anything.  
"I said, DISARM!" the Shirrif-soldier roared in frustration, spit flying out of his mouth. Dealing with crazed lunatics was not exactly his favorite part of his job.  
"Please don't make us shoot," said Michaels, much more calmly. "It is not our intent to hurt you, but if you will not come willingly, we will be forced to –"  
It happened in an instant. Legolas noticed that his bowstring had become less taut and tightened it. The next thing he knew, something came whizzing out of a Shirrif-soldier's weapon with a bang, straight towards the elven archer's hand. Normally, Legolas would have been able to easily dodge the projectile, but the day's events had worn on his reflexes – elven though they might be. Although he moved, he did not move enough. The object from the weapon, which was almost like a very badly shaped arrowhead, pierced Legolas's side and wedged itself within his flesh. The sudden pain made the elf drop both is bow and his arrow, but though he was bent double at first, he soon straightened up as best he could. He gritted his teeth to stop any unwelcome tears that might try to escape, and glared into the eyes of his attacker. This was like an arrow wound, and it hurt quite a lot, but the Prince of Mirkwood had endured worse pain in his life – a great deal worse. However, he knew that he could no longer really resist the Shirrif-soldiers should they choose to attack or capture him. He put an expression on his face that he hoped was defiant, even so.  
By now the rest of the Shirrif-soldiers had drawn their weapons. Gimli and Aragorn had two of the things targeting each of them, and the two hobbits and Legolas had one each – Merry and Pippin because they were small, and Legolas because he was injured.   
"Disarm," repeated Michaels, his tone one of definite finality.  
Pippin, still in his wheelchair and already disarmed, was staring at the Shirrif-soldiers with an expression of mingled dislike and horror. Merry was watching Aragorn attentively as if awaiting an order. Gimli's mouth hung open as he looked in disbelief from the Shirrif-soldiers' weapons to Legolas's freely bleeding wound.  
Aragorn looked at his Elven friend. Legolas was standing not quite straight, but Aragorn could sense that it was costing the elf quite a lot of energy to do so. His mouth was set in a grim, determined line and his eyes fairly gleamed with suppressed rage. Thranduil's son was in to condition to take any action.  
Without pausing to think any longer, Aragorn unsheathed Anduril and placed it reverently at his own feet, followed closely by his elvish dagger. Pippin's knife he kept, for it was concealed beneath his coat. Before he was even done, Merry and Gimli had followed suit.  
"Aragorn, no!" gasped Legolas. His breath was coming shallow and fast. "You…you must get to Minas Tirith, they need you there!"  
"Do not speak, mellon nin. Save your breath," said Aragorn soothingly. If they could just get out of this, he could find the proper healing herbs and… Legolas was gripping his arm.  
"You have to go, Aragorn. Go…I'll…I'll keep them off long enough to let you –"  
"I do have to go, Legolas, but you are coming with me if I do," interrupted Aragorn. "And anyway you are injured. You know you can't take them alone in this state; they would kill you in an instant. Estel dartha an-uir vi gwend, a gwend vín him." (Hope remains always in friendship, and our friendship is steadfast.) Aragorn hoped Legolas would be calmed by his native tongue. "Cuiatham egor gwannatham godref." (We live or die together.)  
Legolas managed a weak smile. "Edain. Tolog sui hui 'nin methen," (Men. Trusty as dogs to the end.) he joked halfheartedly.  
As they had talked, the Shirrif-soldiers had moved among them and were now pulling each member of the company's hands behind him and fastening them there with chains, or something of the sort.  
Then the group was marched out of the office as Dr. Smith and Nurse Sarah gaped.


End file.
